11:00 on a school night. I feel like shit, and being up this late to get up for school tomorrow is a dumb idea. And yet, there's no voices telling me not to. Ah well. I'll just hate myself tomorrow morning. I've been in a slump the past few days. I have no idea why I'm writing this, being that maybe 1 person on this entire site has any care or idea as to how I feel. ever. Not really a depressing thought to me, because there's close to 6.5 billion people (along with the rest of the universe) that wouldn't give a damn if I died tomorrow. one in a million's better than none. (here comes the flow of consciousness. those with weak constitutions may wish to leave, soggy thoughts from a 17 year old guy could make you sick.) Although, that one person, as cool as she may be, isnt enough to satiate that part of my brain that craves attention and the sense of being wanted and accepted somewhere in the world. I think I'm lucky. every day i go to school and drift along. Im not popular, im not unpopular. I just go where things take me. I'm quiet, mostly a loner, and i like it that way, because its the way i was raised. Unfortunately, the piece of my brain fails to realize this. Where i could be perfectly happy living in a cave by myself for eternity, the piece of me wants people to love it, and appreciate it. the peice gets bigger. It wants someone. The girl that loves what it loves, appreciates what it appreciates, and can understand it when things don't quite go right. It wants the one that will can make it happy no matter what I'm like. Right now, I'd give anything for someone to understand, to help, to be with, and to love.
-thoughts at 11:00 on a school night. dont worry too much, i'll get better.